{"product_id":"i-smell-like-my-wifes-farts-11oz-ceramic-mug","title":"I Smell Like My Wife's Farts - 11oz Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eMarried Life: A Love Story (Sort Of)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"224\" data-start=\"201\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI used to wear \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003ecologne.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"245\" data-start=\"226\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eThen I got \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003emarried.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"423\" data-start=\"247\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eAt first, it was subtle — a \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003esuspicious breeze\u003c\/span\u003e under the blanket. Then came the \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003emidnight gas attacks.\u003c\/span\u003e Tactical. Precise. Loud enough to \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003ewake the cat.\u003c\/span\u003e We called her \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003e“The Sniper.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"500\" data-start=\"425\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eOne morning, I woke up and my hoodie \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003esmelled like defeat.\u003c\/span\u003e Not my own. \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003eHers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"630\" data-start=\"502\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003etried everything\u003c\/span\u003e — candles, Febreze, garlic (to fight fire with fire). \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003eNothing worked.\u003c\/span\u003e I’ve accepted it now. This is \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003ewho I am.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"731\" data-start=\"632\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSo if I seem \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003edistant\u003c\/span\u003e, it’s not because I don’t like you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"691\" data-start=\"688\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eIt’s because you’re standing \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(149, 0, 0);\"\u003edownwind.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"174\" data-end=\"191\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1627\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1632\" data-end=\"1653\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"1773\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Fast Delivery (5–6 Business Days)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1774\" data-end=\"1817\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Returns — love it or return it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1818\" data-end=\"1838\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Hilarious Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1924\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e🧵 Details on returns, material \u0026amp; shipping?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1964\" data-end=\"1967\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCheck the tabs below the \"Add to Cart\" button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2020\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e😄 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2023\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003eCreate laughs, smiles, and confused stares. Grab yours now!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Harmless Humor","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50680077254929,"sku":"22c6adac-6724-4cff-aee3-2de25d5d396f","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic White","offer_id":50680077287697,"sku":"d0a69954-9e1f-429c-9b35-86187f9b3057","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0871\/9345\/2817\/files\/9d4d7e1b-fc04-47e4-91f8-ac8762b9e255.jpg?v=1750103151","url":"https:\/\/7c1e14-d4.myshopify.com\/products\/i-smell-like-my-wifes-farts-11oz-ceramic-mug","provider":"Purely Funny","version":"1.0","type":"link"}