{"product_id":"im-not-constipated-adult-unisex-hoodie","title":"I'm Not Constipated (Adult Unisex Hoodie)","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"148\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"148\"\u003eResting Struggle Face\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"150\" data-end=\"332\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAt the gym, people kept offering me fiber bars.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"197\" data-end=\"200\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAt work, my boss asked if I needed to “step out and take care of business.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"275\" data-end=\"278\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEven my dog looks concerned when I sit still for too long.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"334\" data-end=\"414\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBut let’s get one thing straight:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"370\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI’m not constipated.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"390\" data-end=\"393\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis is just my face.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"577\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApparently, I look like I’m trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube with my colon.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"489\" data-end=\"492\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBut I’m fine. Peaceful, even.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"524\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis is just what concentrated relaxation looks like.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"579\" data-end=\"612\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSo please stop handing me prunes.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1630\" data-start=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1653\" data-start=\"1632\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Fast Delivery — 4-6 business days\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1817\" data-start=\"1774\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Returns — love it or return it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1838\" data-start=\"1818\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Hilarious Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1843\" data-start=\"1840\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2013\" data-start=\"1924\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e🧵 Details on returns, material \u0026amp; shipping?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"1967\" data-start=\"1964\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCheck the tabs below the \"Add to Cart\" button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2018\" data-start=\"2015\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"2020\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e😄 \u003cstrong data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"2023\"\u003eCreate laughs, smiles, and confused stares. Grab yours now!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Harmless Humor","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50646270607633,"sku":"d9ff0a24-cf7e-4e92-906f-f2081dc9ee24","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50646270738705,"sku":"e8984ee6-b34c-4363-9da4-07a592af3252","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50646270869777,"sku":"cf3c66bd-fdf8-40a4-8a3b-7a12938ca531","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50646271000849,"sku":"e4ff6eba-7359-497e-95e5-6385ba786476","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50646271131921,"sku":"485fe8ab-03ef-45da-91b1-79c969847573","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50646271262993,"sku":"a87d2823-d34c-4334-907e-599e9592d6ff","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50646271361297,"sku":"9703fea0-7bca-4888-be63-2e0966806a2a","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50646271459601,"sku":"bd8f2b9d-6e47-4fe2-b9e6-7e41e2b3539e","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ S","offer_id":50646270542097,"sku":"97c4eab9-3404-426e-a3d3-712b084027eb","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ M","offer_id":50646270673169,"sku":"c6629b2e-de78-46c7-9238-4b40c4cd82b5","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ L","offer_id":50646270804241,"sku":"5cb83e55-c996-4e9a-b61d-ee1545fe8b1d","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ XL","offer_id":50646270935313,"sku":"7dbd5047-2a8d-42c6-8958-a8cdac2f37d6","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":50646271066385,"sku":"7fbe403c-da5d-4d63-b705-bfa80e7f684a","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":50646271197457,"sku":"80a4136f-88a7-4400-8d99-c08294591a0a","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":50646271328529,"sku":"42b507ed-2ef8-43cf-882f-d1c487f47b57","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carolina Blue \/ 5XL","offer_id":50646271426833,"sku":"33efe284-b6ed-4ada-8246-5d907d9cfecb","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ S","offer_id":50646270574865,"sku":"fec45bd8-5c09-4fcb-b507-4c7aae8ad5cf","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ M","offer_id":50646270705937,"sku":"45dec402-dacb-4c8f-bf66-6978b6899d55","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ L","offer_id":50646270837009,"sku":"d0ef88f7-56ce-4fdf-aaf6-5198a43143b0","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ XL","offer_id":50646270968081,"sku":"9c20a875-350d-4f15-a872-fbf54b449102","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":50646271099153,"sku":"2fdb8062-5778-440e-b748-37fbd897dbc7","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cherry Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":50646271230225,"sku":"b152411c-6909-4be5-bdad-c9419a665ee7","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50646270640401,"sku":"fdfd0a3b-5dca-41af-a054-410d2566bffd","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50646270771473,"sku":"40f6ecea-d7b5-4d8c-b069-0ef095778474","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50646270902545,"sku":"90aa479a-66c1-4526-b857-7c5b6d45b5e5","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50646271033617,"sku":"dcc4c5b2-565f-431e-8e02-53c002663ee7","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50646271164689,"sku":"ae83facd-bbb1-4374-b011-7ff117064af7","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50646271295761,"sku":"b89cbdc8-14b5-4eb9-a5e0-c7c011bc4ba9","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50646271394065,"sku":"c420fe95-6076-4131-b088-5337cd2ec719","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50646271492369,"sku":"957d0430-b30d-4c46-89c9-9d3152ab3a1c","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0871\/9345\/2817\/files\/dc2e3999-c174-4519-93fb-1a42dacff67f.jpg?v=1749856498","url":"https:\/\/7c1e14-d4.myshopify.com\/products\/im-not-constipated-adult-unisex-hoodie","provider":"Purely Funny","version":"1.0","type":"link"}