{"product_id":"shut-up-or-else-adult-unisex-hoodie","title":"Shut Up Or Else! (Adult Unisex Hoodie)","description":"\u003ch3 data-end=\"138\" data-start=\"107\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Duct Tape Declaration\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"177\" data-start=\"140\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt started with Chad from accounting.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"299\" data-start=\"179\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe wouldn’t stop talking about crypto, his fantasy football league, or that time he almost met Nicolas Cage (he didn’t).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"407\" data-start=\"301\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne day, mid-sentence, I reached into my drawer... pulled out duct tape... and gently set it on the table.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"439\" data-start=\"409\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe blinked. “What’s that for?”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"470\" data-start=\"441\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI smiled. “Shut up… or else.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"503\" data-start=\"472\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe laughed nervously. I didn’t.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"604\" data-start=\"505\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSince then, the tape does all the talking. It's universal. It’s powerful. It's silent — but deadly.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"631\" data-start=\"606\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eJust like me at meetings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1630\" data-start=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1653\" data-start=\"1632\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Fast Delivery — 4-6 business days\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1817\" data-start=\"1774\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Returns — love it or return it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1838\" data-start=\"1818\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Hilarious Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1843\" data-start=\"1840\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2013\" data-start=\"1924\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e🧵 Details on returns, fabric \u0026amp; shipping?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"1967\" data-start=\"1964\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCheck the tabs below the \"Add to Cart\" button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2018\" data-start=\"2015\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"2020\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e😄 \u003cstrong data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"2023\"\u003eCreate laughs, smiles, and confused stares. Grab yours now!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Harmless Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50630482985233,"sku":"1f431fb3-354d-48c2-8b3a-31cdc8b20bc9","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50630483018001,"sku":"db7e24b2-c4dd-4e30-b88e-fe42aeab6b1f","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50630483050769,"sku":"115a8d76-d48d-4ed5-8707-e6dec83b347a","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50630483083537,"sku":"3ba1eb3c-e6ba-47a1-93b5-8262b2313fca","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50630483116305,"sku":"268aacfb-f928-46d9-9917-878c5026d95f","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50630483149073,"sku":"49698129-9e7e-4133-9b02-7ec644a50126","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50630483181841,"sku":"c6b34079-c64e-4510-98f3-f80df2f84ab4","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50630483214609,"sku":"835765b9-4f68-45b4-bf0b-a27dd8e5d913","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50630482723089,"sku":"a9bd79c0-5f35-4077-8429-a5f4c9d800e6","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50630482755857,"sku":"3181f75a-fac5-4d2b-a29a-b234d3ae19bd","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50630482788625,"sku":"c1da8ac6-81ed-4225-bee5-279e7614bc3e","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50630482821393,"sku":"98b2cd48-b52c-4016-8e4f-93495c5dc259","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50630482854161,"sku":"1c1c68db-b696-492f-9cfd-1b0b9f2aff3e","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50630482886929,"sku":"9ca720be-ef91-4214-85d6-55879dde4762","price":53.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50630482919697,"sku":"6b5f9676-47d9-420f-b780-d4431b9dbb4e","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50630482952465,"sku":"b42f8772-843e-4d14-b090-52edb8e62361","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0871\/9345\/2817\/files\/e1045399-1ad0-4ffc-89c5-12939b47ae18.jpg?v=1749856876","url":"https:\/\/7c1e14-d4.myshopify.com\/products\/shut-up-or-else-adult-unisex-hoodie","provider":"Purely Funny","version":"1.0","type":"link"}