{"product_id":"they-call-me-auntie-because-semi-glossy-wooden-framed-poster","title":"They Call Me 'Auntie' Because... (Semi-Glossy, Wooden-Framed Poster)","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"130\" data-end=\"185\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAuntie’s \"Educational\" Trip to the Zoo\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"187\" data-end=\"288\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAuntie Bev volunteered to take her niece’s 3rd-grade class on a \"quiet, educational\" trip to the zoo.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"290\" data-end=\"319\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat actually happened was...\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"321\" data-end=\"852\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"321\" data-end=\"482\" class=\"\" style=\"font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe bribed the zookeeper with a bag of Takis to let the kids “feed the ostriches” (huge mistake—Jason lost a sock, maybe a small piece of his soul).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"483\" data-end=\"619\" class=\"\" style=\"font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe taught the kids how to mimic a flamingo mating call, which accidentally triggered an \u003cem data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"582\"\u003eactual\u003c\/em\u003e flamingo mating dance. It got weird.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"620\" data-end=\"709\" class=\"\" style=\"font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe told them sloths were “just introverted squirrels who believe in vibes over speed.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"710\" data-end=\"852\" class=\"\" style=\"font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe got kicked out of the reptile house for trying to give a snake a glittery friendship bracelet and yelling, “She’s misunderstood, okay??”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"854\" data-end=\"1067\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe chaos peaked when Auntie convinced the class that penguins \u003cem data-start=\"917\" data-end=\"939\"\u003esecretly run the zoo\u003c\/em\u003e, and started chanting, “ALL HAIL KING PENGUIN.” The kids joined in. The penguins got flustered. One zookeeper quit on the spot.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1069\" data-end=\"1110\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThey were politely asked to never return.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1112\" data-end=\"1205\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack on the school bus, one wide-eyed kid whispered:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1164\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“She’s not an aunt... she’s a LEGEND.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1207\" data-end=\"1340\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAuntie Bev just shrugged, sipped from her glittery thermos, and said,\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1279\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“They call me 'Auntie' because 'bad influence' was too long.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1627\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1632\" data-end=\"1653\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"1773\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Fast Delivery (4–6 Business Days)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1774\" data-end=\"1817\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Free Returns — love it or return it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1818\" data-end=\"1838\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✅ Hilarious Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1924\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e🧵 Details on returns, material \u0026amp; shipping?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1964\" data-end=\"1967\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCheck the tabs below the \"Add to Cart\" button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2020\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e😄 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2023\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003eCreate laughs, smiles, and confused stares. Grab yours now!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Harmless Humor","offers":[{"title":"30x40 cm \/ 12x16″","offer_id":51107266691345,"sku":"7507e6f5-0099-47af-b9a6-9a140d4b4e20","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"45x60 cm \/ 18x24″","offer_id":51107266724113,"sku":"9cbb7029-f25f-49d1-b1b2-29e1f003f1cc","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"60x80 cm \/ 24x32″","offer_id":51107266756881,"sku":"907d0d63-2b13-4490-9783-6b465c11c89d","price":149.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0871\/9345\/2817\/files\/f5eafd89-dcf7-4fea-9ef4-a1ae9475a749.jpg?v=1745434240","url":"https:\/\/7c1e14-d4.myshopify.com\/products\/they-call-me-auntie-because-semi-glossy-wooden-framed-poster","provider":"Purely Funny","version":"1.0","type":"link"}